"...it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry...You will someday."
(Gotta love it when they post the scripts on the internet...makes it so much easier to quote)
I'm especially talking about the beginning when he talks about feeling like he's seeing it all at once. I get that way about the things I want to do and experience, specifically. As in, I want to do everything, be awake every second of the day (probably the reason why I've stayed up for 24 hours straight the past few Sundays with choir rehearsal and the overnight shift). I think up all this stuff at once and realize I have no time to fit it all in unless I don't sleep and even then, I still couldn't do everything...then I remember to let go. Let the experiences come to me, as it were. There's just too much to do and if I get to experience any of it, it should be enough. I tend to just stop at these moments and try to take in what's around me and how awesome that is, whatever it is. Tonight it was leaving the diner with the snow coming down and saying goodbye to my friend, thinking how a a little less than a year ago, I was wondering when I would find that routine and start to have things like yoga and friends, late night diner food, a consistent paycheck and medical benefits, places I like to hang out and being able to make plans with friends to go hang out there. I remember all those lonely months of trolling around New York by myself with a camera, chronicling it all, a perpetual live-in tourist. Now, I feel like I'm really living here, a resident New Yorker, a Brooklynite.
Right now it's snowing, accuweather.com says for tomorrow's forecast simply, "blizzard," and I'm loving it. Between being home in Raleigh last week (fun trip by the way) and diving back into work right away, apartment hunting and carrying on with choir rehearsal in the morning and then an overnight shift and no sleep between the two...I'm having the time of my life still but I feel like my head is going to explode, or maybe all of me is. Thankfully, most of that stuff is done and I get a day long reprieve from work to keep such head exploding shenanigans at bay a little while longer.
Yes, you heard me. Apartment hunting is all but done. We applied for a place last night. A huge relief that was almost dashed by the fact that someone swiped up that apartment while our paperwork was processing. Luckily, there was another unit available in that same building, one that we had tried to get into with the broker the night before but couldn't. Two in fact were open but one was a 5th floor walk-up and was considerably smaller with a bit of an awkward layout. So Katrina went by today in her off time and checked it out for us, then relaying the information to me. Hopefully, this one will go over without any issues.
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The location is a bit farther south than I'd like but it's a step up from where I am now in terms of proximity to things (not necessarily work...I have to take three trains now instead of two, unless I want to take a local train the whole way...and no matter what, the commute is actually longer). It is, however, and most importantly, cheap enough that it is going to save me over $400 from what I'm paying in my current place. It's still settling in that I've paid my last rent check to my landlord here. What a relief.
Tomorrow is my day off and we should have about 10" of snow on the ground. I'll likely try and return some library books and get out and photograph some of the snow for you. Indulge in my hobbies so to speak and just relax for a day now that I can. In a few weeks though, we'll have to move of course, so that'll be interesting...the fate of my piano, notwithstanding. Still haven't fully decided if I'll keep it, donate it or try to somehow sell it. I'll probably keep it. I was saying to a friend the other day that the longer this thing stays with me the more attached to it I'll become and therefore the more obliged I'll feel to take it with me places.
Anyway, here are some pics as requested by some of you of the place. These are all taken by the agency and some are of similar units, not necessarily the one we're looking at.
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| First New Apartment pics |
So, that's what's been going on. Apartment hunting which, if I chronicled it, I'd be here typing all night, working overnight shifts, visiting Raleigh, attending yoga, and anticipating snow. With any luck, I'll have time to shoot some snow pics tomorrow before it gets trampled and turns into icy gray muck. Good night for now.
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