Again...

It never ends.  By that I mean, the constant introduction of obstacles by the universe.  Some of them great, some of them minuscule and manageable.  I called my new landlady last night to let her know I'd be by to bring over a few small things and let her know our move in date while I was on the phone with her.

Now, a few days ago, Katrina and I were cleaning the new place when our landlady came huffing up the stairs frantically (as frantically as a woman in probably her 70s can) asking if we had been using any water.  The tenant downstairs had water coming from his ceiling and she wanted to know where it was coming from.  At first, I'm thinking, "great, this again."  It was even raining out at the time so I'm thinking it could be a leak from outside and here we go again.  But then I realized the good side of all this:   My landlady was there in seconds to respond to the problem.

However, this means that she has a plumber coming on Tuesday and until then there's no water in our bathroom…until he fixes the problem which might entail taking out a wall downstairs.  This is what she tells me when I called last night.  Now I feel like a real jerk for moving in early.  And I have yet to tell my cousin about it.

Good news is the apartment is pretty much packed up and we await the movers at 9 am tomorrow.  The actual brunt work of moving is actually the easy part (especially when you hire people and all you have to do is direct them). It's all the logistical bullshit from finding a broker who's not going to bait and switch you, to finding a place, to passing the credit check, to seizing it before anyone else does, to signing the lease, to finding respectable movers at a decent price (don't even get me started on having to find ones that'll move a piano properly and not charge an arm and a leg), to hiring said movers, to gathering together boxes because you threw all of the ones you had out because New York City apartments are tiny and then finally to packing every damned thing in your apartment into whatever boxes you can manage to scrounge up (and carry awkwardly on the train hopefully not during the evening rush hours).

It's a mess and every time I move into an apartment where I have some reservation, even the tiniest, about whether or not I'm going to like it still in a few months, I quail at the thought of having to do this all over again.  Especially with a piano.  I just found out that I have an 80 year old neighbor directly below me.  I'm going to have to make friends with him or having the piano at all is going to be moot.  And that will actually be a problem.  My process for fleshing out piano sketch no. 4 into a full on piano and electronics piece to be performed in February is going to involve sitting at said piano and playing…a lot.

We'll see how it goes.  So wish me luck.  I gotta finish my tea and head to work.  I'm sitting in 'Snice right now on 8th Avenue in the West Village soaking up their wi-fi and listening to one of my favorite Fleet Foxes songs that just came on their stereo.  So I'll probably hang out and listen to the rest of it.  Laters.

New digs...

It happens that fast!  Yeah, this was the third apartment we looked at between the two of us and it happened to be it.  The way I found it: a friend.

My friend (remember the person I shared a cab with back in December that I ended up becoming friends with?) told me she had an apartment in her building that was opening up so she gave me the number of the realtor. I called him and they told me that it was already rented but that they had another one a short distance away.  Thankfully, a short distance away in the right direction: North.  It's on 19th street, so it's closer to the Prospect Avenue subway stop.

Anyway, I set up a time to see the apartment with this guy on Wednesday afternoon.  He initially told me it was on 16th street so I was checking the street view on Google maps and really liking the block.  On the Wednesday, he told me it was actually on 19th Street.  I'm thinking, "okay, not a deal breaker…let's just hope it's still a good block."  It was.  And it was a cool looking building.   He had told me before that the landlord lived in the building, another bonus for us because it means, first of all, that she'll take care of the building…unlike our current landlord.  I did get a chance to meet her and she seems like a nice lady.

The apartment itself was on the third floor (a slight worry for the prospect of moving the piano in…the first quote I got today from a mover to move the piano up 3 flights of stairs was $700!) but it was at the back of the building.  Inside the halls, family pictures adorned the walls and the stairs creaked pleasantly asI ascended the stairs.  Upon entering the apartment though, I had one of those rare, "This is our apartment." moments.  You just know when you see a place.  It was spacious, airy and bright.  The kitchen is big with lots of light and a view of downtown Manhattan out the side window.  The buildings around it are smaller so we have a clear view in two directions.  The larger bedroom was about as big as my bedroom in Sunset Park two years ago, and there are double doors opening into it.  The living room is about as big as our current living room, perhaps slightly bigger.  There were three closets, two in the common area and one in the smaller bedroom.  This alone made me feel like this would be a perfect match for Katrina and I. She needs a closet and I need space. Plus all the closets are big.

I could rant and rave but I didn't need to to convince Katrina that we needed to move on this place.  I sent her these pics:

Apartment on 19th Street

…and a similar description to the above, only organized into cons first, pros second.  She said she liked it but wanted to do a walk through later that night.  I called and scheduled it with the broker and we came back, cashier's check in hand, ready to seize the place.

I can't encapsulate how excited I am about this.  Suffice it to say that I'm floored that I like this place this much and that it was so easy to find.  We really did luck out.  There are more and more things every day that I realize are going to be great.  It's on the back of the building and on a quiet block, so no more getting pissed off because people are honking their horns outside while I'm trying to record.  I can fit the piano into my room (that is, if I end up moving it).  Think of the inspiration and being closer to the computer when I come up with ideas that I want to save…no more running between rooms!  Their is an alley to access the backyard where I can lock up my bike more safely.

And while the laundromat may be further down the block and the subway slightly farther, I think we've pretty much moved up.  More to come on the trials of moving.  Thank god we're going to be able to move in once we get the key on Monday after I sign the lease.  Stay tuned!

Confusing wisdom...

Finding wisdom in the inside of a label on a bottle of tea is pretty standard stuff these days.  And I drink a lot of tea.  But today, I had one of those interesting days where I seemed to be getting signs from not just tea bottles but just about everything around me and some of the signs were conflicting with others.

In truth, it all started with an impromptu discussion with a co-worker and friend of mine about working in the corporate world and how it's always going to be the same no matter where you go, as far as workplace politics go and you're really only ever going to avail yourself by being your own boss.  Which, in a way, has simultaneously discouraged me from even trying to job hunt for a better career in this climate and encouraged me to work that much harder at being freelance eventually.  The end of that conversation actually found me feeling grateful that I have a job and a lot more level headed about my general situation than I have been for months when at times, I tended to get rather frustrated that things weren't better with the money situation or the hours.  

It's file checking week at Learning Ally where we go through all the audio book files that have been recorded and spot check them for errors.  Today, one of the audio books that I was checking today at Learning Ally was some kind of business text book that had a ton of chapters about building resumes and interviewing for jobs, etc.  So, while I waited for my assigned booth to open up (the last volunteer was still finishing up her session), I perused a bit of it and got thinking about what I was doing wrong with my last few attempts to find a job.  Here I am now swinging back the other way in my thinking about what I need to focus on right now.  Should I take another shot at job hunting but be more focused this time?  Should I be so cynical about the job market?

On the inside of my tea bottle was this quote though: "Lack of money is no obstacle, lack of an idea is an obstacle." - Ken Hakuta

Maybe I just need a good idea.

Here's one, I'm doing some freelance audio stuff for George's next film and if it needs music, I'll likely be doing that too.  The audio stuff will be operating the boom mic for the first few scenes of a pilot for a series he's going to be putting together.  The scenes will act as a teaser/short for the pilot which will eventually be shot and pitched a few places to get support to do the series.  It's exciting because it could be some steady work and it seems very interesting.  I won't say too much else about it so as not to jinx it.

But anyway, all those confusing signs and I'm tired.  Need sleep.  Tomorrow I see apartments.  The first one is in Park Slope and I might just fall in love with it, so long as it's cat friendly.  Good night.

Columbus Day...

I must admit, it's making less and less sense to work on the laptop in my "office" at work…especially since now, it's doubling as a storage room while they renovate some offices upstairs here.  I do have a nice arm chair to sit in but I'm surrounded by stacks of boxes, extra chairs and furniture and, the latest addition, a huge divider that's half blocking the door.  It's still secluded though and I'm able to work relatively distraction free.

So, here I sit blogging.  I went to see my first apartment today.  Katrina has already been to see one but this is the first we were able to see together.  And only because of the fact that I can never sleep much farther past 12 noon after the overnight shift these days.  I figured I had just enough time before going to yoga to check out the apartment with her.  She was off today for Columbus day so it was ideal.  Every other day this week we are unable to go searching together.  And I've already had one broker that I spoke with tonight tell me they'd rather have us both there…i.e. they want us to be able to make a decision that day, so we don't waste their time.  But I've found that you almost never take any of the first apartments you see.  It's like you have to build up a few impressions, see what all is out there, and knock down your unrealistic expectations a bit before you can settle on something.

So, the apartment today was in Prospect/Crown Heights (it's always these muddled neighborhood borders with brokers…they could just call it Crown Heights but they want the allure of Prospect Heights which is a better neighborhood).

When we arrived on the block it was busy and there were a lot of people out and about while we waited for the broker.  What made me nervous was the general behavior of just hanging around and looking tough.  I didn't want to judge based solely on that though.  This was after all an apartment that was right on the corner of an avenue with a lot of store fronts.  Now, I actually thought this was a great place for the price and it even had an elevator (something that might make it a little cheaper to move the piano in).   It had huge rooms and lots of light as it was on the corner of the building but in the back.  The bathroom smelled strongly of pot (interesting, he thought) and there were electric baseboard heaters which I don't tend to like too much as they inevitably take up wall space and can be a bit dangerous.

I was starting to warm to the place though but something happened while we were there that made me change my mind a little (and this is a classic New York City story here).   While we were upstairs and the broker was raving about the apartment and the neighborhood, sort of tap dancing around a little (making a real effort to convince us that the neighborhood was up and coming etc. etc. blah blah blah), I started to hear screaming coming from the street downstairs.  Now from my vantage point out the kitchen window, all I can see is a little sliver of the street through the alley but what it looked like was a tussle of some sort going down in the street with no less than two women screaming and several men appearing to be kicking someone who was down.  I seemed to be the only one among the three of us who noticed, and knowing how hard the broker was working, I opted not to bring it up so as to keep from making her have to tap dance harder about the merits of our current location.  Luckily, by the time we reentered the street everything was cleared up.  God only knows what happened.  "I don't want to alarm you, Katrina," I said, "but there was sort of a fight going on out in the street while we were up there talking to her."

We still did opt to walk a bit in the neighborhood to see how it looked.  Granted, it's two in the afternoon at this point, but still the scene on the street was a little tense.

Only in New York…and hopefully only on that particular street corner in Crown Heights.  I've got a handful of apartments to look at that are close to that place (we're talking mile radius here) but across Atlantic Avenue in Bedford Stuyvesant, a notoriously bad neighborhood that has been rumored, as well, to be on its way towards gentrification.  We'll just have to see about that and get out on the ground out there.

Tonight, before leaving for work, I called a handful of these ads and, to my mild frustration, I find that at least one of them was a Rapid Realty broker, a company I don't want to work with if I don't have to. The unprofessionalism among their office staff was a source of stress last time we moved.  In addition, they seem to be very strategized and focused more on getting you into an apartment quick than helping you find the right place.  I almost never get the feeling that they want to help me find a place any worse than they want to make sure they don't waste time taking me to a bunch of places that I could potentially not like.  They were the ones who had a problem with it being just me who would come out with them, saying they like to have both roommates present.  I understand this but it's still annoying. Basically, they don't want you to lose the apartment because you have to go home and confer with someone else.  That's how good apartments get snatched up.  Anyway, at this point, we're kind of just doing research and that should be allowed.  These brokers guard their listings so jealously, it's impossible to see a place without a broker pressuring you because most of the ads you see, even on craigslist and padmapper.com end up being broker listings.

I've rambled and ranted enough for one evening.  Tomorrow, I voice audio books and then continue on the hunt.  Wish us luck as we're trying to get into a place as soon as possible and not necessarily wait until the end of the month.

Blurb #26

We're moving out.  We decided this Friday night.  I came home with the letter drafted and planned on showing Katrina but before I could get through the finer points of what it said as far as our terms, she says, "I think we should just move out."  I was actually pretty excited having thought I would need to do some convincing.  I guess mushrooms in your ceiling are about as convincing as things can get.  I guess that's one thing that's turned out the way I had hoped this week!  That and I heard finally that the Celiac Disease study payment is on its way!

Anyway, I redrafted the letter and Katrina and I spent the rest of the evening on our laptops scouring padmapper.com and our other resources just to get started with the apartment hunt and discussion about our preferences this time around...which include no slumlords.  Anyway, more chronicles of the third New York City move will certainly be forthcoming.  For now, I'm off to the DUMBO Arts Festival with my friend who's visiting from Chicago.  We're headed to brunch at Superfine in DUMBO first.  See ya!

A year's worth of...

One more week left in Sunset Park. When I look at it like that, this finally feels like a year later. One lease, twelve unlimited monthly metro cards, and a year's worth of Time Out New York magazines. 8 months of job uncertainty, and 4 more of adjustment to a full time schedule, 11 months of amazing food in NYC and, after one near earth-shattering diagnosis of Celiac Disease, one month of grieving over the loss of Joe's Pizza, Rocco's Pastries, Magnolia's cupcakes, Ruthie's bagels and Amy's Bread. Three trips back to Raleigh, two to Upstate NY, countless train trips and bus rides, even some long harrowing walks in strange neighborhoods trying to find better ways to get home at late hours when the trains weren't running on time...I even estimated that I've probably spent about a week out of the past year waiting for the train in the West 4th Street/Washington Square subway stop and another week waiting for the train at 9th Avenue in Brooklyn.

What a year. How about a year in pictures?

Best of NYC

I feel like I've gotten one hell of a start here, though, I've been thinking about my current path and next steps and that sort of thing lately. It seems like I've gotten a dozen different directions I could go in next and I'm feeling more and more like the answer is not in which direction to go but in how many or how to incorporate them all and still satisfy myself. I've got my electronic music side project baking but also my contemporary music...which more and more I'm wanting to coincide with the electronic project. I know I need to revamp the website and I'm thinking more and more about ways to make a little cash on the side through selling scores or trying to license some of the music I have written and have yet to write.

I've even been thinking about reigniting my interest in starting some kind of voice over work...I've yet to use the word career with this yet because I don't know if I have the energy to simultaneously do that, music and my full time and freelance gigs. But enough people lately have commented on my voice (it's really deep, it's resonant when I want it to be, some even say it's soothing) that I think it's certainly worth considering and I think I would even enjoy doing this kind of work...Plus, the idea occurred to me today that it's something I could incorporate into the business of writing music for people. Why the heck not? Here's the pitch: I can provide voice over and music for your corporate videos and advertisements. Your one-stop shop for creative services.

Sound all right? Anyhow, that's what's on the drawing board at present. But not to distract from the musical stuff. I regret to say that the pressure of finding an apartment and moving have, at least for the moment, have distracted from any kind of progress in that arena. Most importantly, once I get settled I think I'll get to work on the website and also make new business cards. Will probably get new head shots done soon as well. More on that later.

For now, I'm going to bed. There's nothing that'll tire you out like the prospect (not even the act) of packing your things in anticipation of a move, however small.

New Apartment...

There's a line in American Beauty where Kevin Spacey is narrating after he dies in the end of the movie that I love. Living here for the last few years in a city that I love I feel like I know exactly what his character means. The line is:

"...it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry...You will someday."

(Gotta love it when they post the scripts on the internet...makes it so much easier to quote)

I'm especially talking about the beginning when he talks about feeling like he's seeing it all at once. I get that way about the things I want to do and experience, specifically. As in, I want to do everything, be awake every second of the day (probably the reason why I've stayed up for 24 hours straight the past few Sundays with choir rehearsal and the overnight shift). I think up all this stuff at once and realize I have no time to fit it all in unless I don't sleep and even then, I still couldn't do everything...then I remember to let go. Let the experiences come to me, as it were. There's just too much to do and if I get to experience any of it, it should be enough. I tend to just stop at these moments and try to take in what's around me and how awesome that is, whatever it is. Tonight it was leaving the diner with the snow coming down and saying goodbye to my friend, thinking how a a little less than a year ago, I was wondering when I would find that routine and start to have things like yoga and friends, late night diner food, a consistent paycheck and medical benefits, places I like to hang out and being able to make plans with friends to go hang out there. I remember all those lonely months of trolling around New York by myself with a camera, chronicling it all, a perpetual live-in tourist. Now, I feel like I'm really living here, a resident New Yorker, a Brooklynite.

Right now it's snowing, accuweather.com says for tomorrow's forecast simply, "blizzard," and I'm loving it. Between being home in Raleigh last week (fun trip by the way) and diving back into work right away, apartment hunting and carrying on with choir rehearsal in the morning and then an overnight shift and no sleep between the two...I'm having the time of my life still but I feel like my head is going to explode, or maybe all of me is. Thankfully, most of that stuff is done and I get a day long reprieve from work to keep such head exploding shenanigans at bay a little while longer.

Yes, you heard me. Apartment hunting is all but done. We applied for a place last night. A huge relief that was almost dashed by the fact that someone swiped up that apartment while our paperwork was processing. Luckily, there was another unit available in that same building, one that we had tried to get into with the broker the night before but couldn't. Two in fact were open but one was a 5th floor walk-up and was considerably smaller with a bit of an awkward layout. So Katrina went by today in her off time and checked it out for us, then relaying the information to me. Hopefully, this one will go over without any issues.


View Larger Map

The location is a bit farther south than I'd like but it's a step up from where I am now in terms of proximity to things (not necessarily work...I have to take three trains now instead of two, unless I want to take a local train the whole way...and no matter what, the commute is actually longer). It is, however, and most importantly, cheap enough that it is going to save me over $400 from what I'm paying in my current place. It's still settling in that I've paid my last rent check to my landlord here. What a relief.

Tomorrow is my day off and we should have about 10" of snow on the ground. I'll likely try and return some library books and get out and photograph some of the snow for you. Indulge in my hobbies so to speak and just relax for a day now that I can. In a few weeks though, we'll have to move of course, so that'll be interesting...the fate of my piano, notwithstanding. Still haven't fully decided if I'll keep it, donate it or try to somehow sell it. I'll probably keep it. I was saying to a friend the other day that the longer this thing stays with me the more attached to it I'll become and therefore the more obliged I'll feel to take it with me places.

Anyway, here are some pics as requested by some of you of the place. These are all taken by the agency and some are of similar units, not necessarily the one we're looking at.

First New Apartment pics

So, that's what's been going on. Apartment hunting which, if I chronicled it, I'd be here typing all night, working overnight shifts, visiting Raleigh, attending yoga, and anticipating snow. With any luck, I'll have time to shoot some snow pics tomorrow before it gets trampled and turns into icy gray muck. Good night for now.

New York City Premier...

It occurred to me on the way to the screening of Peeper: A Sort of Love Story, that this screening was essentially going to be my New York City premier. Meaning, I haven't had any of my work shown publicly yet in the city, until now. So, it's definitely a turning point, a crossing-over. That realization, coming minutes prior to arriving, made the event that much more enjoyable for me. And what a night.

The screening was held at a screening room in one of HBO's buildings on Bryant Park, which doubled the excitement. Up on the 15th floor there were posters for the film lining the walls in glass cases, there was a stunning view of the Empire State Building out of the windows facing South and a modest spread of cheese and wine. Probably about 75 people showed up, at my best estimate, maybe more. The film was well received too, people laughing at the right times etc. and afterward the director, writer, and some of the actors held a Q&A session in the theater. Which was neat, plus I got my props, too, for saving the music.

Afterward, we all went to the Heartland Brewery around the corner and ate and drank for a few hours. I had to go to work, so I slipped out to have dinner elsewhere with a friend because I wasn't sure I'd have time to eat before having to be at work at 11pm. After eating though, I had time and my friend had to pack for a trip, so I ended up going back solo and mingling a little more. Mostly with friends of the writer and some of the actors.

Fun times. I almost wish I hadn't had to go to work that night. And I really wish I had brought my camera.

On Monday, I fly to Raleigh to stay for the week and visit with my folks, see my brother's new place in Boone, NC. Then when I get back we start the apartment hunting in earnest. More updates soon. Probably taking a week off from blogging.

Apartment hunting in Brooklyn...

Tomorrow is the screening at HBO of the film I helped score. Excited about that but currently overwhelmed with the madness of apartment hunting in New York City. I've scoured Brooklyn, it feels like, with a handful of brokers, some less successful at others at luring me in with the perfect apartment.

Brokers are crazy. You respond to an ad on craigslist for a specific apartment and then they want to show you ten more that they think are perfect for you. A few of them will ask you a few questions to get an idea of your criteria. Others will simply find out whether it's a two or one bedroom that you need and then just run with it. Sometimes dragging you to apartments that are in neighborhoods you haven't had the chance to tell them you don't want to live in. But then you run up against this thing that real estate agents tend to do which is to blur the boundaries of a particular neighborhood in order to rent an apartment faster. All of a sudden Crown Heights is Prospect Heights, Bedford-Stuyvesant is Clinton Hill, and Sunset Park is South Park Slope, or South Slope. You get the idea. It's tricky.

Then I've had a broker or two flake out on us. We wound up seeing only two places on a night when I had as many as 7 possible apartments scheduled. The first place was nice, but not the right place for it's location and (we keep running into this problem in Brooklyn) the second bedroom was too small. I think a lot of these owners/brokers try to pitch 1 bedroom w/office apartments as convertible 2 bedrooms. Like, "It's a 2 bedroom if one of you doesn't mind sleeping in a closet. Cool?" The second guy we were to meet had like three apartments and he was one of the guys who says, "hey, you want 2 bedroom apartment? I have like ten of those and they're in East New York!" Okay, so he didn't say East New York (which by the way is about as far east of Manhattan as it sounds). He said Clinton Hill which, exists as an option in my book but I always have to be cautious because we don't want to go too far east in Clinton Hill and definitely not too far across Bedford Avenue. It's not that I have a mental block about Bed-Stuy. I really just don't know the neighborhood that well and don't want to risk winding up on a rowdy block, a seedy block or just a block with nothing going on, i.e. no people around to catch the guy trying to mug me.

Anyhow, this guy didn't show anyway. Called earlier and said that he had another place he wanted to show me but couldn't get the key that night so he wanted to reschedule. He was 7:30, so after we finished with the one on Bergen with the too-small second bedroom and the weird stained glass partition between the bigger bedroom and the living area, I called my 8:30 broker and asked to see if she could come early. We didn't think we'd have time to grab a bite between appointments not knowing the neighborhood that well. So, she called back and said that her friend (I'm assuming another broker) could come and meet us in ten minutes.

Now this is the funny part. We went ahead to the address and find out that it's this new condo building that we kept seeing ads for on craigslist. Apparently there are like five brokers trying to push apartments in this place to fill it up. And it's sort of an ugly building, new, yes, and the apartments are nice and they even have a W/D hookup and they're offering to bring a washer dryer unit for an extra $50 a month. But really, even if this place wasn't on the fourth floor it was in a barren stretch of Bergen street and nothing was around there, it was too far from the subway and even if it did have a roof deck, Katrina would probably feel unsafe there. And it was an ugly modern looking green rectangle with funny wavy designs on the front. So, after he showed us that place we went on and had dinner at a bland little Chinese restaurant and discussed. The broker never did show us the rest of the places that she had and when the other guy called me the next day, I told him that we had moved on a place. Even though we hadn't. Because I knew his apartments were all around that same part of the neighborhood which we had just deemed too seedy for our tastes.

Now, my plan is to check out a few places in Brooklyn Heights today with a broker, by myself. The idea is that instead of wasting Katrina's time (having to come all the way down to Brooklyn) for apartments that are smaller than the stuff she's finding in Astoria and more expensive, I can check them out first and weed out the ones in seedy neighborhoods like outer Prospect Heights and/or Crown Heights. And I love Brooklyn Heights for just about every reason.

But these ones in Brooklyn Heights, ($1699 and $1775) I'm not going to get my hopes up about. I will probably find out that they are too small for us or that they are just one bedrooms posing as two bedrooms and that explains the price. Or it could be a miracle and they could be rent stabilized gems, in which case we're going to have to move very fast on them.

Oh how stressful this is. I'll keep you guys up to date on the happenings thereof. I've agreed if my solo search in Brooklyn finds nothing then, after I return from Raleigh week after next, we will dive into Astoria brokers and grab something up there. As much as I don't want to be that far from my Brooklyn haunts, it may be that all we can find in our price range, lack of seediness and size requirements exists only in Astoria. But I am not yet ready to believe. I'm giving Brooklyn another chance.

And tomorrow is the screening of Peeper: A sort of Love Story. Should be great!

Gluten free search mission and some good news...

Just back from a little gluten free excursion into the city, mostly for reconnaissance purposes. Checked out Baby Cakes in the LES. Didn't buy anything but I must say, this place looks like it could totally rival Magnolia cupcakes which I was mourning the loss of earlier in the week. From there, I went over to UNI QLO to buy a pair of jeans and check out some shoes and other clothing shops over in Soho. Exited UNI QLO with a pair of nice comfy jeans and grabbed the subway at Prince Street to head up to Union Square Whole Foods, for the second part of my mission.

There I was in Whole Foods with gluten free items practically jumping off the shelves at me. The heartbreaking thing was the price of each item. Gluten free granola bars, $4.39 a box, gluten free cookies, $5.49-$7.99 a box, gluten free loaves of bread as expensive as $9 a loaf...like some kind of punishment for being intolerant to wheat. How dare you make us find an alternative to wheat which grows so rampantly in this country. The only consolation? The Gluten free beer was actually comparable in price to a regular six pack so I grabbed some of that, along with a gluten free loaf of bread that cost $6. And here I sit drinking a bottle of Redbridge, made from sorghum. And it's fantastically refreshing and crisp, with a bit of a cidery taste but not unpleasant.

How about some more good news? George's film score is finished as of yesterday and the screening is this Friday. I'm relieved. And also a little proud of myself, I could have done what the other guys did and given up when George asked for more changes but I didn't. And instead of getting discouraged that my work wasn't up to par, I just kept working and eventually, I hit the mark. Not a bad hustle, I must say. Now, though I have my hands semi-full with the chamber piece, and my electronic music, I think I'm going to apply to a few film scoring jobs spotted on mandy.com in the weekly job newsletter. I'll let you all know how that goes.

Further good news to add to the pile is that I managed to get not one, not two, but seven apartment viewings in one night lined up for tomorrow night. I must be crazy. In truth, there are only three landlord/brokers involved. One who has an apartment in Prospect Heights Proper, closer to Grand Army Plaza and the other two have a selection of apartments in central to further east Prospect Heights and Clinton Hill. Will also keep you updated as to how those go. I have a really good feeling about the first apartment which is closest to Grand Army Plaza and the 2,3 train.

Meanwhile, must cook and get ready for work. I think I like these overnight shifts...for now. I woke up at 3:30 after having finally managed to get a full 8 hours of sleep after an overnight shift and I've had half an afternoon and an entire evening to mess around and get things done. For now, I'm off though.

Gluten...

...Rasputin, Vladimir Putin, Pollutin', Darn tootin'. That's right. I found out the other day that I can't eat gluten. Shouldn't eat gluten, I should say. I could go on eating gluten but it wouldn't be excellent for my health. See I have this thing called Celiac disease. Read the whole wiki article there, if you're interested because I won't get into the nitty gritty of what the disease would do to me if I didn't stop the gluten altogether.

I had an endoscopy done on Wednesday afternoon, the final step in diagnosing the disease, after which the doctor was certain that it was as he had originally assumed from the results of my blood work (that showed a Vitamin D deficiency and the presence of the antibodies typically seen with Celiac disease, two other dead ringers for the disease). The endoscopy was an interesting experience, well, I should say the anesthesia was. I don't remember the procedure because I was out. This was the first time I had ever had general anesthesia and man, was I doped. I don't remember falling asleep but I remember waking up and thinking that I had missed twenty minutes somewhere in there. I felt pretty stoned afterward and, only when that started to wear off did I start to notice the pain in my abdomen from the procedure.

That subsided though within a day thankfully...and gave way to a whole new kind of pain. A bittersweet sort of pain that I experienced the height of in the beer aisle at the grocery store. Yes, that's right. If you read that whole article you'd've seen that barley is in the same family of grains as wheat, Triticeae. Ergo, I cannot drink beer. Hence, I do not see the point in keeping my beer brewing equipment. Thank god, I can still drink wine. And also, thank god that they do make beer with different grains, sorghum mainly. I hear it's a disappointment to say the least, but I'll have to try it.

I think the main point for me to realize is that there are so many options out there beyond beer brewed with some obscure grain that doesn't have gluten in it. Thanks to the wonders of social networking, all I had to do was post a blurb about having to go gluten-free and the flood of resources from my savvy gluten-free friends came, well, flooding in. I'll post some of the best, mainly for you, mom, when I come home next week and you're wondering what to feed me besides potatoes and rice.


Non-Gluten Grains

Gluten free flour substitutions

An article about Oats not necessarily being gluten free.

Trader Joe's list of gluten free products
A Gluten-Free online store
A store that sells gluten-free products here in NYC

The list could go on forever. I even have my eyes on some books that I'm going to buy off of Amazon.com. This is the same sort of fervor with which I attacked my IBS diagnosis, years ago. It's ironic because I felt I had almost gotten those symptoms under control and now this. I'm determined however not to let it bring me down. The trick is going to be looking at this as a life-changing thing but not necessarily a bad one, or the end of anything. I may be cutting things out but I'll be trying things I'd have never thought to have tried. Quinoa. Millet. Flax. Almond Flour, Chickpea Flour, brown rice bread, sorghum beer, different kinds of exotic rice, for crying out loud. The list goes on.

At least I won't have to give up chocolate, wine, coffee or many of the other things that I enjoy. Sure pizza, cookies, muffins, bread, cupcakes, other baked goods, might be a problem but not impossible. A new friend of mine here, who is also gluten-free, (noticing a trend here..gluten-free friends coming out of the woodwork) noticed a gluten-free pizza bakery on 23rd and Park in Manhattan. Then there's these: Risotteria, Baby Cakes, which will make my life easier.

All that having been said. What else is new? Apartment hunting is progressing. We saw two more Park Slope apartments tonight with the fellow who showed us his apartment at 5th and Union the other night. Between the three that he showed us I think we're leaning toward the first, though it was the smallest. It's actually in Park Slope proper, whereas today's shows were down in what I like to call, Sunset-Park-Slope. 20th street and 4th avenue. Almost as shady as my neighborhood. Beyond that, though they had likable qualities i.e. size for the price (both were at $1650 and had decent sized rooms), these apartments were a little further removed from Park Slope proper and even from the closest R train stop than we'd like to be. One was also a railroad layout with the smaller room being a bit too small to fit a full bed into without blocking the door to the other bedroom partially, and not to mention simultaneously filling up every bit of floor space in the room and leaving no room for any other furniture.

Oh, the joys of city living. We're seeing another apartment tomorrow in Astoria and we'll probably make a decision next week. Will keep everyone up to date on that. For now, I should probably get some rest. Early morning this morning and I've been sluggish all day. I have to spend Sunday on finishing the music to George's picture once and for all. Wish me luck with that.

All kinds of cool today...

I was just working on a rushed evening, too-quickly scarfed leftovers and a serious case of bedhead when I realized that I accidentally set my clock ahead an hour in the attempts to set an alarm so I wouldn't over nap. Whew, I'm good. So, I have time to write before going in for my second set of back to back overnights starting tonight. Today was packed to the brim with cool, pretty cool, awesome, and wouldn't you know it?; The highlights therein being running into a fellow UNCG alumnus at church who graduated from the G the same semester I did and, coincidentally, moved to Brooklyn the same month as me, as well as going to check out not only the first apartment of mine and Katrina's intrepid apartment search but also the first (and perhaps only), Manhattan apartment.

After having lunch at a friend's and nearly watching all of As Good as it Gets for the 4 millionth time, I headed into Manhattan on the F and met my cousin on 1st Avenue. The place was a short walk over to Avenue B and 11th Street and rather more dilapidated then either of us would have hoped but both of us might have expected. After all, for $1850 on the Lower East Side, we might have expected the only good thing to be it's location. I could have gotten to work from the place in about 25
minutes easily.

On the other hand, the size of each of the five rooms alone presented unique challenges not only to furniture placement but to general living. Kitchen, no counters, no cupboards, bathroom, no place for cat's litter pan, bedroom 1 is the size of my own and facing the street, bedroom 2 is literally half the size of the other (so one of us would require a smaller bed) and the living room would require us to invest in a flat screen TV to mount on the wall unless we wanted to have no space to walk from the kitchen to the front room. Between all that, the sloping floor (quite a sharp pitch if you ask me...any pocket change that hit the floor would likely wind up on the same side of the room), the fourth floor location, and the pot deal going down on the corner, I think we'll keep looking.

I'm not even sure it was a pot deal but the main thing we learned from today is that what that price in Manhattan looks like and that we have more need of counter space and room to put our furniture than we do of a hip location to brag about.

End of story. On a hilarious note, Katrina and I headed over to Union Square from 1st Avenue so we'd have time to talk about what we had just seen, and managed to run into the no pants subway crowd. If you haven't heard about this group called Improv Everywhere, then check out this link. They do crazy public improv, including volunteers in the process, mostly to shock or confuse random passersby in the vein of candid camera. The no pants subway ride, one of the funniest pranks they pull, is exactly what it sounds like. Check out the videos. Union Square subway station was mobbed, mostly by people wearing just about everything but pants.

What's happening now is that my time between getting up and going to work is rapidly dwindling as I just got off the phone with George, my co worker for whom I supplied music to finish off his film. They needed one last tweak in the mix to bring out the snare drum on a particular track so that they could get on with the sound design. They should be finishing soon, in fact, screening the piece on the 29th at one of HBO's theater rooms around Bryant Park. Mohammad, the director, who also used to work at NY 1, works over there and was able to book it. Thankfully, I can actually make it because I don't work until 11pm that night. I'm actually covering for George that night because he asked off the week leading up to the screening.

So you'll hear more about the screening the closer we get. It'll be the first screening of my work in NYC, as a matter of fact. Definitely something to talk about there. For now, I'd better get the rest of my lunch packed and brave the cold to meet the train into the city. Never a moment's rest.

Ideally...

I've realized that I really don't like my options at the local supermarket. Maybe it's because I'm a bit spoiled by the good quality cheap stuff at Trader Joe's but on days like today, rainy disgusting cold and windy days that is, days when I'm forced to shop in my neighborhood because my lack of interest in schlepping groceries on the train, I really feel sort of limited in what I feel comfortable buying at the local C-Town. It's all either bad quality for the price (I'm generally talking produce here) or just bad quality in general and then the variety is also slim, plus the store brand (historically cheaper than any name brand) is not great quality either.

Ho hum. Ho hum indeed. One of many inspirations to move to a much nicer neighborhood. If I lived in Cobble Hill or Boerum Hill I could walk to the Brooklyn Trader Joe's. If I lived in Manhattan, I could stop by the Trader Joe's on 14th Street on the way home from work.

In all honesty, I could have done much worse choosing the neighborhood I was to live in my first year in New York. In truth, my main criterion for a new place is going to be the price range. Hence my motivation to live with a roommate.

I was bound to make a few mistakes my first time around anyway. And that's half the reason I often write about these things. Perhaps someone else wanting to move to New York will see these musings and it may help them or it may just add to the cacophony of advice regarding the subject of moving to New York City. Either way.

Tonight, is the first snow of the season. And it's not even really that much of a snowstorm. It was raining most of the day and I hung out over at the Brooklyn UU's rummage sale and got coffee with friends afterward. Walked through it all day, toes soaking wet and chilled to the bone. Happened to be outside, having just mentioned the snow to my friends, when it actually started to switch over. It's not even properly snowing now. But I guess that's fine by me. It'll be sunnier tomorrow and then we'll probably get our first wallop of snowfall in the coming weeks.

And with that another test of my resolve to live in this fine city. Can I handle the winters? I grew up regarding snowfall as an occasional pleasantry. Something that came every few years and, if we were lucky, got us out of school. Here, the general attitude towards it ranges from moaning and groaning to all out dread of the event and it's ensuing inconveniences. Most people are hardened enough that, even when the temperature wanders back above 50 degrees F, they still wear their scarves and bundle up against the cold. As though, they'd rather be prepared for anything than risk leaving a potentially necessary article of clothing at home just because it's slightly warmer out.

I contrast this often with the mostly collegiate mentality of defiantly wearing flip flops in the winter time, not wearing jackets, or wearing them open, or just never really properly dressing for the weather. That always amused me. It's a curious thing to me but I think the fact that most can get away with things like that in the south is due to the fact that it's much more common to drive everywhere and, as a result, no one really spends that much time outside.

Here, I think I'm outside for at least an hour every day if not more. I often forget what it's like to own a car or don't really think about what it would be like to own one here until something happens like my parents' car getting broken into or my brother getting a parking ticket. I often do think about the expenses I save by solely riding the mass transit system and rarely even taking cabs. It's massive. My transportation expense adds up to about $90 monthly. To some that would only cover car insurance and certainly would not cover gasoline. Reason #234 for living in a place like New York City.

But I digress, and in this case, I ramble. I think I'm going to watch a movie I've seen a hundred times because I'm tired and feel like doing something mindless. Can you grant me that?

Apartment hunting...a little early...

Next on the roster is the impending doom and/or excitement of apartment hunting in New York City. Again. It's hard to believe we're approaching that. Can I just take a second to gush about my accomplishments? Can I? Can you all grant me that?

I can't believe how far I've come. Sometimes, it just doesn't cross my mind but then sometimes, I do feel like I need to just take in a deep breath, forget whatever is bothering me at that particular moment and take it all in. It's been almost a year in New York City. Random song for the moment:

Only Living Boy in New York

Anyway, I can't help but think back to what I was doing a year ago: Sitting in front of the computer looking at craigslist.org apartment ads, corresponding with potential roommates, eating-sleeping-reading-breathing New York City and actually starting to despair a little bit. Doing something like this (this being setting a goal, however modest, and accomplishing it) really does something for your self esteem. And it sort of insulates you against any negative thoughts or pessimism about future goals that I may or may not have even set yet. And that's a brilliant thing to have. It's a forward momentum. It's motivation to the highest extreme that anything I think up, dream up, I can go and, at least try to do.

All right, I'm done. It's a bit exciting, to be honest, to not only be slightly more seasoned and street smart but to also have a virtual veteran of New York City on my side in the hunt for apartments. As I said before, we've little more than thrown out some ideas about neighborhoods and talked roommate rules and the like. But it's starting to feel closer. What else can I say but wish us luck?

Subway...

Some nights the MTA really gets me angry. But still, even when the D train wasn't running at Grand Street, in the end, it wasn't that big of a deal. I never stroll around Chinatown and I found myself right in the middle of a Billy Joel song (Big Man on Mulberry Street)

Mulberry Street...
...trying to remember the lyrics, which are a veritable map of Chinatown in themselves, in an attempt to find my way to the Canal Street Subway station to catch the N...which, by some bizarre stroke of luck was running on the D track and I was able to take it all the way home...only after grabbing the first Q train at Canal Street to Atlantic Pacific. This in no way compares with my train escapades last weekend though. Attempting merely to get to Fort Greene by using only two trains, the D and the G, and not having to walk a block to transfer, I wound up still having to walk that block plus on the way home, I ended up walking about a mile to avoid the G train altogether. Because let's face it, the G is the worst train in the whole MTA system, and it never runs on time even when it is running normally. They had it running both ways on the same track and only going to Hoyt-Schermerhorn. Which led me to believe that maybe it was just the one train running back and forth between Hoyt-Schermerhorn and the other end of the line in Queens. This is why, when I missed the train, I assumed it would be a half hour or more before it came back around again and just left the station in favor of trying to catch a bus to Atlantic Avenue...a bus which didn't even stop when I tried to wave it down while running frantically in the direction of the nearest stop.

These late night weekend subway adventures, as inconvenient and harrying as they may be, do teach me things about the city. One lesson is never to despair. There is always a way to get home. In last weekend's case and this weekend's, the nearest subway stop was not that far and both cases afforded me a walk, albeit not so leisurely last weekend, through a neighborhood I scarcely get to enjoy.

Which is good because now, less than four months before my lease runs out, I'm looking for a new one to call home. And luckily, my cousin and I will be looking together. We met the other day and discussed everything from what we need from a roommate to our respective budgets and target neighborhoods. Clinton Hill was nice, I noted, while beating the pavement and dragging my guitar around last weekend. Lots of older apartment buildings and brownstones, bars and restaurants (I saw a couple of French ones) all lined DeKalb Avenue. The subway stops wouldn't be that far off either and I feel certain we could find a decent place there for a reasonable price. But we are not limiting ourselves to Brooklyn neighborhoods alone.

No. The possibility of being a Manhattanite entices both of us. But we're being realistic about it. I'm aware of how ambitious it is but you all know me. I have to try. It won't be until January that we really start aggressively looking so that gives me a month or so to drool over Manhattan neighborhoods and weigh the pros and cons of them. It's also good to have a veteran New Yorker agreeing to room with me because there are so many factors involved in choosing a place to live, some which I may not have thought about yet. Not so much whether or not I want to live with rodents or insects, but more whether I want space or location more. Tough calls both, no doubt.

At any rate, we'll have to certainly consider things like subway access and what floor we're on, doorman or no, elevator or walk-up, pre-war or new building, etc.

But there's still time for all that. With that, I must go to sleep. I've had a nice relaxing and also productive two days off. My scores are almost ready to be unleashed on the world. Plus, I've come up with a fantastic idea that I'll say more about as it unfolds. Good night.

6 months...

6 months in New York City today. Well, yesterday. It all kind of hit me when I bought my metro card for the month on Thursday and realized it was my seventh one since I moved here. But I've been so busy I couldn't blog on the day of. It's funny when you look up after all you've been through and realize for the first time how far you've come. I kind of got into this in my last entry, feeling accomplished and finally satisfied with the pace of things even though I still can't see how this will all fall together. Anyway, the 6 month mark seemed like as good a place as any to pay homage to the fact that I have indeed come this far and might just go a little farther yet.

It's just been 6 days in a row of work (at both jobs combined, so no overtime, unfortunately). The weather has been amazing. Dry, mild, and windy. I wish I could send you this weather in a text message or something. Think of the warmest, sunniest day in September and raise the temperature two degrees. That's here, right now. The kind of weather you wish you could drink out of a tall glass with a few ice cubes.

At NY 1, there are plenty of parks in the vicinity to hang out in on my breaks. The Highline is one, Hudson River Park is another and I can even walk down to the riverfront and eat my lunch if I should so choose. Yesterday though, I had eaten lunch prior to my break so I just walked down to 7th avenue to a pizzeria near the corner of 15th and 7th, grabbed a slice of cheese pizza for $2.50, folded it in half and walked down the block back to the Hudson River Park on 10th Avenue, a favorite spot for business people, sunbathers and that bum that's always sitting at the corner of the park near 15th and 10th.

One thing that happens in six months in any new place is you start to get these little routines going. They're the backbone of your own stability and they sort of ground you and make you start to feel like you belong, like you get what this place is about and you're cool with it. I'm finding out little secrets as well. Things I'm sure other New Yorkers have noticed but don't tell anybody.

I was riding the D train in to work the other day and, somewhere between the Broadway Lafayette stop and West 4th Street, I looked up out the window of the train and where you usually see blackness or tunnel lights flashing by, I could see, on a track somewhere above us, another train running along side us. I knew it had to be the A, C, or E train since we were about to pull into West 4th street where both the blue lines and the orange lines connect, which meant the train I needed to connect to would be at West 4th street at the same time as the train I was riding. To connect from one train to the other I have to go up two flights of stairs and I'm never sure if I need to bother rushing up the stairs because I can never tell if the train will be there or not. That was before. Now, I have my little secret that I can look up between Broadway Lafayette and West 4th and see if the A, C, E train will be there at the same time as the D train...which could save me a good ten minutes depending on how long I have to wait for the next train.

At any rate, these little things like where to get a good cheap slice of pizza on my break and how to make sure I don't miss my train connection are starting to make me feel fully integrated into life on this little island. Who knows how I'll feel in a year. Beyond having steady employment that I can count on, I'm hoping to make my next move to a better neighborhood and apartment in a year so I think I'll focus on learning everything I can about the real estate in my ideal neighborhoods so I don't have to find some squatters hell hole in East Williamsburg or something. I have a good six more months to think about what I want out of my new living situation and to figure out how to go about getting it. And if those first six months went by so quick, it'll be no time at all before I'm looking again. Wish me luck.

Things calming down, Coney Island and my inability to take care of electronics...

Good morning. First day off in seven and I'm just finishing laundry and eating lunch. Also finally working on a piano piece that will be part of a cycle that I intend to submit to the SCI 2010 conference. August 1st is the deadline. I have the first piece in the cycle written and the second piece is in the works. Three is the magic number so I'm planning on writing a really simple ending piece in the next week while simultaneously finishing the current piece.

Distractions have subsided a little bit. The basketball goal is no longer outside so I've been sleeping a lot better lately and learning to chill the #$%&*@ out. I realize that, in the wake of my little freak out about my rent, it was too easy to find reasons to hate this place and convince myself that the only possible solution was that I needed to get out, no matter the cost. But now, I'm trying to look at things in a different light now that they've calmed down a bit. I'd be much better off sticking things out then adding more complications to my current situation. After all, I do like living alone, for now, and this neighborhood is not nearly as bad as I make it out to be. Let's face it, when you're the only one you have to bounce your own thoughts off of, there's no one to tell you that you're over reacting, over thinking, or just plain off the mark except yourself. And it's really hard to be honest with yourself at these times. The simple fact of the matter is that things could still be a lot worse. In fact, these hard times of having to scrimp by are teaching me, as they should be teaching the rest of America, how to live within your means. This is a valuable lesson and honestly, if I had a little bit more money and were a little bit more comfortable, my first thought would be that I had license to spend more and then I'd probably end up right back where I am now, through my own carelessness. If this is instilling in me a certain sense of caution then maybe this is the best place for me to be right now.

I'm not saying I wouldn't mind having a little more money to work with here. I've figured how long it would take me to pay off my debt if I were working full time hours...10 months. But it would require me to be working full time. There is good news on the job front, on all sides actually.

First, I got called for an audition for some paid extra work today and I'll be going in for that tomorrow. Second, Part time vs. freelance employment is on the horizon potentially at one of my jobs (I won't say much more because I don't know anything yet for sure). And third, a co worker recently asked me to help him finish off a score for his short film. So I'll start that soon.

Good things come to those who wait.

In the meantime, I went to Coney Island finally yesterday. I am twenty minutes away from the beach and I haven't even realized it all this time. I was certain it was at least a thirty minute train ride. Karishma and I basically walked up and down the boardwalk, purchased some disgusting cheese fries from Nathan's Hot Dogs, walked out onto one of the piers and finally dipped our feet into the ocean before heading back. Coney Island is dirty by NC standards but nowhere near as bad as some Florida beaches I've seen. I'll have to go back now and ride a few of the rides, though. Seems fun. Here are some pictures from the occasion, taken with the camera I've owned for about two years which has, regrettably just been fatally wounded while riding in my bag. Nice big crack in the middle of the LCD screen. And this is one of those cameras that has no viewfinder. I was heartbroken. As I was when I sat on my 8GB iRiver MP3 player a few weeks ago. Do I have some kind of problem with taking care of my electronics? Here are the pictures:

Coney Island best

Why I moved to New York and some info on how to...

As I walked from my work place in Chelsea to the West 4th Street stop, something I've been doing lately with the weather being nice again, I realized that I'm never going to get bored in this city. When my depression was at its worst in Raleigh, years back, one of the things that made my life feel so monotonous was having the same commute home from work every day. I would make ridiculous detours, anything to not have to drive the exact same way home every day. I'd even make excuses to leave early and then go and buy coffee before work, just to change up the routine. When I left work today, I thought, "I'll just walk to West 4th Street instead of having to take two trains." I even walked a different way then I have in the past, all the way to 6th Avenue along 15th Street and then south to the station. Other days I've walked down 9th to Hudson to Bleeker and then hung out in Father Demo Square (which is actually the shape of a triangle) just to get a change of scenery and not have to dive right into the muggy subway platform and stand sweating for ten minutes waiting for the train. If I'm going to sweat I might as well take in the city.

I love exploring this place. My present problems and discontent aside, it never disappoints, this city. There will always be something to see, whether it be some old building, apartments I'll never live in, a park I would have never normally found, or just the people of this city going about their business half of them oblivious to it all. Or just life going by in a big city. I can't explain why this is so different from Raleigh. I admit there are things I came to love about Raleigh but perhaps a sheer lack of creativity brought on by my near paralyzing anxiety and depression when I first graduated college kept me from really discovering Raleigh. But either way, I needed a change of scenery, though I'm not naive enough anymore to think that the scenery is all that has healed my anxiety and depression.

Anyway, if there's one bit of insight that I've gleaned from the last 6 months it's this: That the best way to come to NYC is to forget all your belongings except the bare minimum and live in slight to moderate to terrible discomfort (depending on how you look at it) in someone else's apartment, month to month if you can swing it, until you are stable with your job and know what you can afford to live in. Of course, this is obvious and would apply to any city but I didn't think it applied to me. I thought I could go on living by myself, enjoying my solitude with all the random shit I'd accumulated comfortably arranged around me and simultaneously afford it all without having first established myself here. I was wrong. I jumped the gun. Now it's a question of whether or not it makes sense to do anything risky to fix it.

I heard today that my boss has put in a request to hire me part time. Which would mean a couple of things for me: steady hours, no limit on my hours and even some, gasp, benefits! We'll see how it goes. So, I may yet survive this, having done it the way I did, but I certainly feel like, especially after talking with a close friends who's lived here for 7 plus years, that I could have come off a lot easier if I had done the subletting thing and not worried about moving twice. Hell, here I am considering moving for the second time anyway!

I had a nice talk with this friend yesterday and, besides imploring me to get on Match.com, he gave me some really good advice about the whole thing. He's subletted for years living up here and is getting ready to give up his room in his Upper East Side apartment (1 bed in a three bedroom apartment for $975) to move into a co-op he just bought up in Bronxville. So he was showing me the room in case I was interested. At $200 cheaper then my current digs, and several square feet smaller, which might necessitate storage or getting rid of things, it might not be for me. But oh, how nice it would be to say that in my first year in the Greater New York Area I found a sublet in Manhattan. I love his neighborhood. It's around 71st and York Avenue, lots of restaurants, a really good beer bar on York Avenue that we hit up, and some really nice apartment buildings. It's actually quiet back there. But I'll probably have to turn it down.

I also don't know what's going on with subletting yet. I'm not getting very many responses and, increasingly, the prospect of having to worry about this place (the current apartment) while I'm renting in a new one irks me. Even though, I may possibly find a place I could go month to month with, if my subletter defaults on me, then I have to worry about getting them out and getting someone else in. Getting them out being the harder of the two tasks.

I may not even follow through with this at all and just stay here. The noise outside was only bad last week. Maybe I'll get used to it (As long as it's not one of the days where I have to work at 6am).

So right now, I don't know what's going to happen. My plan is to see how subletting goes and, if badly, ask the landlord about getting out of the lease if I don't manage to find a subletter. If it's too much of a fee, hell, I may stay. It's only 'til March after all. And I will have been here for 6 months already come the 7th of August.

Okay, so I'm still thinking about that plan in the last blog entry...

I decided tonight that I'm going to stop looking at my situation as a disappointment that I can't do anything about. And start looking at it like this. I came to NYC, yes. But in many ways, I'm not here yet. So I shouldn't consider the experience of living here as though, I got to NYC and it's nothing like I expected and I actually hate it. This is just about where I'm living, where I call home. There are so many aspects of living and working this massive city that have shattered all of my expectations. But the place I live is not one of them.

Sure it's comfortable enough but, living in this neighborhood, I feel apart from everything, as though I were living in the suburbs. I thought about this tonight as I strolled through Sunset Park and it felt like I was in the South Garner Park of New York City. The neighborhood of Sunset Park feels to New York City what Garner felt like to Downtown Raleigh. But on a grander scale and therefore worse in some ways. The morons who litter and make noise and call each other "n____" and play basketball directly outside my apartment. The idiots who pulled up in a Lincoln Towncar last night and parked in front of my apartment(and I'm sure they'll do this again) and blared their Mariachi music while belting out the lyrics at the top of their lungs, all the while spilling beer out the side of their car and smashing the bottles on the pavement. (Yeah, I called 311 for the first time last night) All these, I'm sure, have some kind of counterpart down in Garner. I remember moving out of Garner to North Raleigh for similar reasons. There was domestic violence and after hours noise, etc. so we just broke our lease back then and moved on to better things. I don't intend on doing that here, breaking my lease, nor do I think I could.

Anyway, I've decided to look at my present situation as a step along the way instead of a dead end. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be far away from this shit. Nor do I think there's anything wrong with expecting things to be different in another neighborhood. I'm well aware that I may find some other things not to my liking in a new place, but, honestly, if I could wake up for once to my alarm and not to the person across the street, who has one of those warning beeps for reversing on his van, sitting with his car in reverse, the beeping incessant for about five minutes straight, then I'd be slightly more content with my situation. I could transcend all of this and agree that I shouldn't let it bother me as much. But then, well, you try it sometime. It's actually quite maddening.

So, the plans begin. I've got a little time to think calmly about how to most easily get out of here and to get advice from people who've sublet before. I've even got time to really take care with where I live next and whom I live with.

I suppose I could stick it out until March next year...but that's 7 months away. No thanks. I'll keep updating about this aspect of the New York Experience, the whole discontent with my living space. It's sure to raise some interesting stories. The basketball game is still not over and it's almost midnight. It's turning into a f@#$in' block party out there. Oh, save me from this.

Sublease...

I'm going to sublet my place. I've done a lot of thinking about this over the past week and it makes the most sense out of any other plan I've come up with. The reason is that this place I'm living in has become too expensive for me to afford with any amount of uncertainty about my hours at work. I stand to save about $400 a month by doing this and that alone has been enough to assuage any apprehensions I have about moving again, leaving this place, going through the hassle of finding a subletter and a new apartment in the same month and any other random concerns that have come up with regards to this process.

To me, it's as good a plan as any and that it's a plan with a definite set of consequences, the bulk of which are good for me, makes me feel a million times better than sitting around worrying and trying to find extra side gigs and begging my bosses to hire me full time. That all can wait. In the meantime, the name of the game is to make a gigantic stride towards being able to effectively spend less than I make for once. I've reached my limit with all of my other expenses. I literally can't cut back anymore short of not eating or drinking a few nights a week and unplugging even my fridge when I leave the house and never using my A/C ever.

Survival instinct has kicked in. This is what it has come to. I had an epiphany that my lifestyle right now is essentially what is expensive and that I needed to consider doing this one big thing to change my lifestyle, i.e. roommates instead of living by myself, in order to not be so stressed out about it. That's one of the root causes of panic, when you feel like you have no other options. So I just needed to add some options to the table. At least one other, that is.

And now, I just have to go and put the plan into effect. I cannot decide if I should take care of finding a new place first or if I should sublet this one first. Let me explain. I've read on the NYC Rent Guidelines Board website that in order to sublet I have to give written notice to my landlord 30 days before and in this letter I must include the name of the sub lessor and my address during the sublease. ??? How the eff am I supposed to do that? So then, I get thinking. They don't need to know when exactly the sublet starts. I could make like it's starting in August, thereby giving them thirty days, but I could go ahead and get the sub lessor in here now and myself out. Or at least fudge the days a little. This way when I write them the letter of intent to sublet I can at least have a name of who is subletting and where I will live. But then, if they turn down my request? This is what confuses me. If there's the potentiality that they will turn down my request to sublet, why am I going to ahead and find a place that I could end up having to turn down? Maybe I could just give my parents address.

Not to bore you all with the details of it all. Half of this is just me writing it out so I can read it back to myself and, by that, perhaps make more sense out of it all. I think I'll just write them a letter of intent to sublet and keep it at that. Turn it in tomorrow morning and wait.

I hate that it's come to this. In some ways. In other ways, I'm looking forward to the potential to get out of this neighborhood sooner rather than later (March 1st next year). Also, I think it would solve a lot of my problems with socializing in this city if I can find roommates around my age that have been here for a while and have a network in place and if I can move to a neighborhood where there are sundries and hangouts nearby and I can feel like I don't live in suburbia. Incidentally, this is one of those random reasons I moved to the city. To be closer to people. It seems a bit ironic, sometimes I complain about the noise in my neighborhood or I come across as a bit of a curmudgeon but honestly, I'd love to be around people my age. That's the qualifier: my age. Not around families and high school kids. I feel like an outsider here (and not just because it's mostly Hispanic and Chinese and Indian families here who keep to themselves).

I was hanging out in Park Slope the other night with some people from my UNCG days, people that studied film there and that I could be found hanging out with just about any day of the week back then. I'm looking around the bar and seeing all these twenty and thirty somethings doing what I'm trying to do. Live a life in New York City. I've had apartment jealousy, I've had neighborhood jealousy. Now I'm having life jealousy. I know how absurd that is, by the way, to look at someone and, effectively making a snap judgment by the way they appear to me, wish I had what they had. Especially since I know nothing about their lives. It may suck to them. But at any rate, it looks shiny and attractive to me, and though I'm wary of wanting, I still want it or something like it. Comfort and stability are one thing but at least to be able to pay my bills and live near people my age would make my content. After all, there's nothing wrong with goals is there? Just getting attached to results. I'm certain that I will want something else as soon as I move to that brownstone apartment in Park Slope.

Anyway, I've got a formal letter to write. If anyone has any advice or information on how to go about subletting if you've ever done it before, please let me know what you know, I'm all ears. I'm off. Have some pictures from my romps last week:

J Scott's Visit

And here's some from poker night last night:

poker Night