Oh, I've seen this guy here before...

Something is piercing through the noise of my headphones in the West 4th Street station as I wait for the D. I yank one ear bud out of my curious ear to descry the source of this strange external sound which is not part of my music. A saxophone player is playing atonal jazz improvisations by himself on the platform. So, I said, "Oh, I've seen this guy here before" and placed my ear buds back in my ear and proceeded a few steps down the platform to escape back into my own more welcome cacophony of sound.

Have I been here long enough that the novelty of subway musicians is starting to wear off? I think so. Yet, it doesn't seem long. It also seems incredibly long. The change from where I was to where I am now was so gradual I had to have Karishma remind me how cool it was that I'm working at NY 1 now after I showed her my badge. Months ago, I used to while away the time working at News 14 thinking about the possibility of working here, thinking how cool it would be to work in their facility and to share a building with the famous Chelsea Market. All those months of dreaming about accomplishing all of this and now I'm here and I've almost forgotten to check and see if I'm still alive.

Why is it that we do this to ourselves? We spend so long wanting something only to move on to other stuff we'd also like as soon as we achieve, get, buy, become that something that we've wished for. Sometimes without even acknowledging that we've achieved something. Probably because we too often experience our life either looking back or looking forward, meanwhile missing out on everything that's here in the present, however fleeting that may be.

I was so busy wanting the next thing, full time employment, stability and the certainty of having paycheck so I could feel comfortable going out and socializing without worrying about not being able to afford any kind of social activity, wanting it all together and wanting it now, that I didn't realize that one of the things that I wanted for so long happened and I wasn't fully able to take it in and really relish it right away because my mind was full of so much other shit. I was so worried about it happening a certain way that the significance of it happening at all was almost lost on me.

Now, of course, I am, in fact, relishing it despite all the unfinished work I have to do. Granted, today my comfort level was boosted by adding up my hours for the month of May. I did a little math and saw that I will, without a doubt, be able to cover my rent and bills. Whew! There's still some things that could stand to be worked out but for now, I think I'm going to pledge to stay present and remember that I've achieved something, not necessarily to hold on to it, but to remember that this is what's going on right now and that all those other things, me worrying about my stability, those are not reality. Anyway, as long as I do the right thing and keep working hard, they should work out. Maybe not exactly as I want them to or exactly as I might predict, but they should work out nonetheless. Case in point being the current situation. Despite the fact that I fretted so hard over it all, I just went through the motions and did what I felt I needed to do and, wouldn't you know it, that was probably enough. All the extraneous worrying just gave me something I could talk to my relatives and friends on the phone about. This is the central truth that hit me today, things aren't going to work out as planned, ever. Not exactly. And being okay with this is probably going to make my life a whole lot easier in the long run.

By the end of all of this, I'm going to wonder why I worried so much and why I didn't just enjoy the present moment, the train ride over the Manhattan Bridge, having my own place again, the thrill of this city and the myriad of things to do, my view of Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty and even the more annoying of the subway musicians.

Keys to apartments and art installations

I picked up the keys to the apartment last night (and yes mom and dad I took pictures).

Apartment Photos

I set up a time to meet the superintendent and pick them up from him. He was a nice guy. Showed me around the building, going over all the details of life at Leonard Court right down to where to put the garbage and recycling, how to turn off the valve for the faucet and how not to lock one's self out of the apartment. The doors are tricky.

I took some measurements to be sure of which furniture could go where and then headed back to Park Slope to meet Karishma for dinner.

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We walked around trying to find a place where I could buy flowers for my short term roommates to thank them for letting me stay and then, we ate an Indian restaurant called Amin which kicked. For many reasons. Yes, the food was good but they also played the same Bollywood instrumental CD that India Palace in Greensboro, NC plays...the one they play all the time because they have no other music. It was nostalgic, to say the least.

After we parted, I took the subway home, grinning most of the way as I felt the new keys in my pocket. I live and work in New York City. It's good. It's such a great city. I'm starting to get the hang of it. Right down to knowing which subway car to get on so that when I arrive at my stop I'll get off across from the station exit. Or finding out that if you want a less crowded car, walk to the end of the platform. Also, I've just about memorized the Times Square/42nd Street subway station with all it's twists and turns, so that I don't wind up walking the wrong direction or taking the long way around because the signs are confusing.

There's a whole slew of subway musicians that are actually fairly decent to really good at what they do. At the very least they're entertaining. Here's a rundown of the best I've seen: the guy in all red clothes and a Philadelphia Phillies hat who wheels his way onto the train on a motorized wheel chair, carrying a guitar amp with a microphone and an iPod plugged in, playing "Love is just like the baseball game" while he heckles all the New Yorkers about losing to the Phillies, god knows how many years ago. The musical saw lady, the classical cellist, the 8 year old kid playing classical piano on a casio keyboard, and even, the blind violin player playing the Godfather Theme.

And then the city surprises you with one of those quirky things you've heard about but never seen. Just before coming above ground on the Manhattan bound N train to cross the Manhattan Bridge, I see it. I've heard people talk about it but I never knew where it was. Out the window of the train there's animated art along the walls that you can only see through slats in the subway walls. It animates the way a flip book does as the train is passing it. It's not just graffiti that some brave soul perpetrated in the dungeon of the subway tunnels. It's lit up on purpose to be seen, a sponsored art installation. All I remember was obscure shapes passing by until eventually, I saw a jelly fish animate and swim off. I had to smile. No one else on the train seemed to notice it.

Then, as the train surfaces and begans to traverse the Manhattan bridge, I turn to see the city lights and the Brooklyn bridge to the south. And I remember that I'm in New York and that it is, in fact, cool.