I actually slept past 2pm after an overnight shift! Even despite hammering outside my apartment that woke me up at around 1045am, I still managed to finally sleep it off like a rock star. It takes a rainy day, with the lack of direct sunlight to make the conditions just right for uninterrupted sleep. Simple fact of the matter though is that I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. Although an odd schedule like mine can be conducive to creating sometimes, having the apartment to myself when I'm off work at odd times, it sort of drains you. And being drained is not conducive to creating. I can't keep my focus and I start to get a little bedraggled.
This has all kind of gotten me thinking about success and how you measure it. I harp on a theme on this blog a lot, that I often forget, or that often moves to the back of my mind. I have already accomplished a lot just by moving up here and sometimes it can help me when I'm feeling overwhelmed to remember this fact. But I can't stop at that obviously. Sure moving up here was an accomplishment but there's still more to be done. I'm semi-comfortable in my routine and am happy with the individual things I've done so far but I'm always trying to get to the next step. And sometimes, figuring out what that next step is can be a step itself. So, I find myself at a bit of a crossroads. Or maybe it's more like a river crossing. I can see the other side. I just can't quite find a way to cross over yet.
Specifically, I'm trying to get from a place where I know confidently that I can do the kinds of jobs that I'm after to a place where I'm able to prove that to the people who might hire me to do those jobs. I've met people who are doing what I want to be doing and I'm getting the impression that I'm not far off. The thing I keep hearing is that I just need to keep working. Writing every day. Networking. Working on my web presence. Etc.
I guess I just need to keep my head up and accept that it's not the kind of thing that happens overnight. It's good to check every once in a while to see if I am, in fact, on track. I've done a lot this year. But next year I want to do way more. I mean way more. I've already got designs on performing my electronic music and I'm getting closer to logistically being able to do that (learning how to make Mainstage do what I want it to do and buying that one last piece of MIDI equipment that I need). One place I'm wanting to increase my activity even more, though, is my contemporary music. Tania is sure to be performing more of my pieces next year and we may even be doing Moon, Tides, Cycles again in the fall. My goal is to write more not just for her but to get one of my new chamber pieces finished and performed. Specifically, the one with electronics. This will be an undertaking of mass proportions however.
On top of all that, the most important goal of mine is to score more films. And I realize that that one requires more networking than anything else. I could apply to scoring jobs online until my face falls off but when it comes down to it I haven't done all that much and I'm up against so many other candidates who either have or at least look like they have done way more. So I have to work on making the kind of connections that I've made with George and Mohammad and bank on the recommendations from the work I have done. Once I build up work like that, then I'll have a more bloated and impressive portfolio that I can use to apply to jobs with directors that I don't know yet. That's the idea anyway. I think I've spoken before on here about breaking things down into manageable steps. Step 1 in this case would be network.
Funny enough, I'm going to a Celiac Disease meetup next Monday and while I was trolling around meetup.com, it occurred to me to look for filmmaker groups. Found a few and joined but not all of them have meetups scheduled, nor does it look like they've even been active recently. I'm already a member of the IFP filmmakers group on Facebook but I've yet to make use of that membership. Either way, over the course of the next few weeks, and once the music for the trailer for Sides of the Track is finished, I intend to be networking like gangbusters.
If I can get some sleep. Speaking of Facebook, they've been doing this thing lately where your status updates from this day in whatever year appear on the sidebar. The one from this day in 2010 said something about sleeping in until 5pm and that I guessed my body needed it. Sort of puts in perspective how long I've been enduring such a crazy schedule. It'll be two years this January.
Update to the first paragraph of this blog. The hammering was coming from the apartment above. They're finally working on fixing all the water damage. The woman who lives above me wanted to show me all the work they were doing because her apartment was in shambles, all her furniture moved out into the main room while in the bedroom the walls were completely stripped of plaster. She was complaining in broken English about what an upheaval it was. Let's just hope that I don't have to endure the same thing in a week. Why? Because I'll be sleeping all day again.
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