Get an Agent...

Sitting in the park, watching the cruise ships (an inordinate number of them actually) passing by down the Hudson River and enjoying the free wifi...also enjoying the fact that my wireless airport card works now.  It was funny referring to it as an "airport"to non-Mac people when I would talk about my issues with it over the past few weeks. I've been trying to find ways to say it where it wouldn't sound like I was Richard Branson and I had my own airport.

But, I digress.  The important part is the return of convenience and productivity.  I just spent the last half hour out here surfing the web, compiling and adding to my list of voice over agents to contact.  While most people are referring to next month as "No Shave Novemeber," I'm calling it "Get an Agent Novemeber."  Granted, not quite as catchy or easy to remember but I realized that I don't need to stop short at my friend's agent.  I've been taking short and halting steps with this process for the past month but now I think it's time to get a little proactive.  Or a lot.

If I'm going to bet on myself why not go all out, right?  After all, I didn't move up here to take baby steps.  Thinking back to my depression in 2004 when I was still married and living in Su-boring-burbia and wondering how I'd ever get anywhere in my career, the problem was I sat and waited a lot.  Daydreamed, but never really converted that wild imagination into action.  Thoughts of success were always followed by thoughts of doubt in my ability or about the lack of potential my then-situation afforded me for moving toward my goals.  I had to fight those notions but it wasn't until I had the epiphany that a lot of that negativity was coming from my ex-wife, that I was able to stand up and say, no, I can do this.

What characterized the next year after that was exponential growth in my career potential.  Because I was believing in my ability to compose.  The first semester I was back in graduate school, I composed three new chamber pieces, scored three student films, got my first paid commission to write music for a TV show and hatched the brilliant plan to move to New York City when I graduated.  That alone should be proof to me that I should be betting on myself, continuously.  And not waiting for situations to be right.  Things can happen now if I just put myself out there like I've been doing.

So here's to that.  Being proactive and not letting any negative thoughts dictate my actions or inactions. It's especially helpful to examine where the negativity comes from and if I find that it comes internally, I deal with it right away.  In most scenarios, I find that it's the only thing standing in my way, the internal stuff.  And it usually has very little basis in reality.   Just worried thoughts that I'm not going to be good enough for some reason.  But I don't need that.  It's not helpful.  It's comfortable sometimes but I don't need that either.  I need progress.  So here's to that and to getting an agent.  Soon.