I don't know how many of your minds work like this but do you ever just feel like you have so many things you want to do that you can't figure out what in the hell to do next? This happens to me on a grand scale and miniature scale. It could be my life's aspirations or it could be the mountain of household tasks/errands that tend to pile up. Incidentally, this is exactly why I plan so meticulously. I make to do lists, I allot time, I schedule, I execute, all so I don't have to think about what to do when it comes time to do it.
On an evening like this though, I made a last minute decision to stay home and not go out to yoga for once. As a result, I found myself with a huge chunk of time I don't normally have, during which I could do a number of things both big and small or I could do nothing. Nothing is planned. All I know is that I had several thoughts on the way home, and on the way in the door, that inspired me, each one knocked out of the running by the one after it, as though they were all sentient and had been waiting for this free time to vie for their position.
It's insane.
One was to plug in my keyboard and learn how to play a riff from a song I can't stop listening to. One was to play guitar with my friggin' amp plugged in for a change (read: loudly). One was to actually riff and come up with a song, perhaps recording some ideas and playing around with them in Logic. Then, my mind drifted toward my laptop and how I had written down that I needed to clean up some folders on it that have been in need of that for some time now.
But some of my laundry is still hanging up and is ready to be folded. Also, damn, I'm hungry and maybe if I cook dinner early I can get to all that other stuff later, if my mind isn't completely drained by then. But I know myself and I know how I'll feel after eating dinner...with Netflix waiting right there to suck me in to something that, let's face it, I've probably already seen before.
Then, I decide again to resist the temptation to become a sloth. I was looking at the Instagram posts of several other gluten free types and even earlier had read about a medical study seeking newly diagnosed Celiacs. Both of these ideas brought back to the front of my mind a genius idea I came up with almost a year and a half ago now. One that I should be starting on any day now. I want to create a YouTube channel for newly diagnosed Celiacs on adjusting to the gluten free lifestyle. Eventually, I've thought it could become a travel show for people with Celiac, or even food allergies in general, centering on the question of how you survive while traveling with these disorders and diseases.
This isn't just in the spitball stage either. I've scripted. I've amassed equipment. I've done screen tests. I've gone back and forth about questions of production style and quality. I've researched. I've gone back to the drawing board and rescripted. I've even considered that with such a vast undertaking I'm going to need a producer and perhaps a team.
So I've repeatedly shelved it to focus on...wait for it...the novel I've been writing. Yes. I'm going to keep it shrouded in secrecy for now and will be publishing it under a pseudonym. You'll know soon enough.
Suffice it to say that it's been by far one of the most enjoyable of the things I devoted my time to lately and I keep coming back to it with renewed eagerness...ask Amy about my random eureka moments. Ideas flood in regularly and I'm connected to all these apps that allow me to take notes on my phone and then access them on my laptop later. I never miss an idea. I keep telling myself that I'm fully in the editing phase now and I've almost got it locked and loaded. But then, I start to realize I don't want to rush the editing phase. As I've started to flesh out some chapters and scenes and add new ones in between, looking back, I've discovered that the novel has grown so much. I would be insane to prematurely declare it done.
In the process, I've even come up with several ideas for other novels, some of them sci-fi. I realize I'm pretty early on in the process of thinking of this like a career and thus, it's still fun. Trying to get this thing published and marketing it may yet break me. But right now, being a writer is a pretty attractive idea to me. Seriously. And not to diminish my other endeavors. I just find myself really enjoying creating this way. I'm drawn to it.
That leads me to the reason I'm sitting down writing this instead of doing any of the things I just mentioned. I recall reading an article about a year ago (I'll try and find it and link it) that basically said busy for the sake of busy was bullshit and no way to live. You should only really be making time for the things that you truly enjoy doing. That you shouldn't be destroying yourself to do everything you think of just because you once thought it might be cool to do that thing. That was the upshot anyway. And maybe that means one thing at a time or maybe it means I'm a novelist and haven't been much of a composer for a while. I tend towards the first interpretation. The novel is what I'm having fun doing right now and what I choose to conserve my mental energy for. I have momentum there.
Anyway, I won't be writing the novel forever. Then, once it's done, I don't have to start the next one right away. And when I do start it, I can still be doing other things, and decide freely when I switch tasks. The only slight urgency with any of these endeavors is with the Celiac channel and that is that someone might scoop my idea and do it better before I can. Maybe someone already has. But hence the research. With every blog or video I see, I keep thinking of ways to do it my own way and make it unique. I think it'll be fine. It probably doesn't matter. People will always be getting diagnosed with Celiac and I have no shortage of topics to cover there.
At any rate, I keep saying I would want to do it only when I have the time to make it really good. And that's not right now. And it doesn't do any good to be motivated to do it because I just thought about it or I saw a bunch of people being Celiac on the internet and I envisioned myself doing it and already being at the finish line. This has failed me many times. I used to call it rock out envy. I'd be at a show watching a band perform that I was really into or I'd find live footage on YouTube and think, "I need to be doing that again!" The problem is that this doesn't actually motivate you to do the things you need to do to get there. Write stuff that actually inspires you, record it, meet musicians, find the right ones, collaborate, find a rehearsal space, pay for it, book a gig, get people to come, repeatedly. Some of that sounds fun but but whether or not it doesn't, every one of those things take time. Time I could find, sure, time I probably have and don't realize but remember, I still have to fold my laundry and make dinner.
And this all comes after a co worker asked me if I had any New Year's resolutions and I said, without missing a beat, "I want to start a band." Maybe I will, maybe I'll take it one step at a time. Maybe I'll make some new musician friends. Maybe I'll finish the novel first. Maybe nothing will come of it. But I think the important thing is to have fun doing it. And right now I'm having fun writing this blog about it.
End.
Monday, December 11, 2017
Sunday, October 8, 2017
So many things...
Where in the hell have I been? Yes. Good question. Short answer? Busy and not blogging. Why am I back blogging now? I don't know. Just felt like writing again after I looked back on one of my entries from years ago. Also, in the spirit of the original reason I started this blog, there's much to tell.
Remember that part where I said I was busy? Since I last wrote anything at all on here right before Guadeloupe, I went to Guadeloupe, proposed to my girlfriend Amy, traveled out west to Utah and met my long lost cousin on my mother's side, got married to Amy in October of that year, landed a voice over agent, scored another film, went to Nicaragua again, voiced the open for a documentary on CNN, started performing with Lacy James again and have almost finished a novel I've been writing.
A lot, I know. It's been over a year though so it probably sounds more impressive than it is. Nah, never mind, I think it sounds pretty awesome. First of all, Guadeloupe was fun and amazing and gorgeous and deserves it's own entry. Here are some pics.
However, like many things that you build up in your mind, it sort of left a bit to be desired. Finding gluten free (for me) and vegan food (for my wife) that was interesting and worth going out of the way for proved to be damn near impossible some days. The people were nice but, since it's a French overseas department, we spent most of the week keeping to ourselves, driving around to see various sights on the island, going to rum distilleries and hiking. We did manage to meet some fellow Brooklynites on the volcano hike which just blew my mind. We've even stayed friends with them and hung out a few times in the city.
The craziest moment of the weekend, though, came when I got super sick from eating the local food and threw up all over our Airbnb. Craziest because it managed to stop me overthinking how I should ask Amy to marry me and just do it. She took care of me immediately after without batting an eye and it dawned on me how lucky I was to have her. Not because she simply cleaned up after me but because of all of the other times I've seen how caring she can be and how I've lacked that in other relationships. I called her into the bedroom and as we gazed out the window at the sun setting over the Caribbean Sea, I asked her and she said yes.
We took it easy the rest of the night and spent the next day, just browsing through Etsy for engagement rings. Later that year, we got married at the marriage bureau in downtown Manhattan with two of our friends as witnesses.
That summer, I finally got to meet my cousin from my mom's side, with whom I'd recently connected on Facebook. He lives out in SLC, Utah and is always having outdoor adventures with his pals out there. Having just bought himself a river raft, the plan was to take it down to a stretch of the Colorado River in Castle Valley, near Moab, Utah and float for a day and a half, camping overnight on the river.
It was incredibly fun. So much fun, in fact, that I went back to visit him again this summer the weekend of the total solar eclipse. We didn't get close enough to see full totality but it was still a good trip in itself. Here are those pics.
Both trips deserve their own entries and there's far too much to include here. Same with the Nicaragua trip. My good friend Angela led a retreat there at the same lodge I keep going back to (on my recommendation, of course), so, naturally, I had to go again. The crew that went was immeasurably fun and we had an incredible time. We even went back to the Masaya volcano, where I went in 2015, and managed to catch a glimpse of the lava cauldron churning at the bottom of the crater, which had been blocked by too much steam last time I went. Here are those pics.
Best part? I'm still hanging out with these guys back in NYC.
So, you've probably noticed that I've caught the travel bug. The new job at CNN (relatively new...going on three years now!) has allowed me to take more time off for these adventures and that's sort of inspired me to do more and perhaps make something out of it. After Guadeloupe, I compiled all the footage we'd shot with the GoPro camera I found on the ground outside the Barclays Center and edited together a kind of glorified vacation video, complete with my voice-over and music selections. I can't post it obviously because I don't own any of the music. It was more of a proof of concept. I wanted to see if I could shoot video on a vacation, then bring it back and edit it together to tell a compelling story.
I eventually do want to produce videos. In fact, what's on the horizon for me is I'm putting together a YouTube channel for Celiacs that are newly diagnosed. I've already got most of the first episodes scripted. Once I cover all of the important topics regarding adjusting to the gluten free lifestyle, I plan on moving on to other kinds of content. Likely, this will include interviewing health professionals such as nutritionists and doctors on topics ranging from new research to debunking myths about the disease to legislation about food labeling. Ultimately, getting back to the notion of travel, I'd like to interview my viewers from other countries about how they handle being gluten free where they live, with an emphasis on questions like, "are there gluten free versions of traditional things you used to eat?" and "how aware are people in restaurants about your diet?" The idea being that people with my dietary restrictions don't travel or have difficulty traveling because of it. I hope to change that and allow people the means by which to get over any fears they might have about traveling abroad with regard to their diets.
Obviously, this is going to be a great outlet for my music composing and voice-over work as well. Which leads me to the next thing. Back in mid January, I got a phone call from my voice coach's assistant telling me I'd probably be getting a call from an agent. Floored, I waited, but what came was not a phone call but several emailed auditions, a few of them in person at various production houses throughout the city. Excited but panicking that my full time job wouldn't allow me to make all of them, I talked to my boss, who is always supportive of these kinds of ventures. Ultimately, I worked it out with my agent that I would get mostly mp3 auditions (the kind where you record at home and send them in) and worked it out with my boss that whenever I had an in person audition, I'd just have to let him know. In the months that followed, I went to something like five to seven auditions a week, maybe got one second round audition, but have been keeping at it, determined to book something soon. I've been having a blast and learning a lot more about the industry and still seeing my coach every once in awhile. I even took an improv class the other day to get out of my skin a little more and tried to get even better at auditioning. Last month, I officially signed my contract and am now represented for the next year. So, wish me luck there.
Film scoring? That thing I moved here for? Yes, I still do that. Here's a trailer for the film that just had its first screening a few weeks ago.
https://vimeo.com/215764480
I hope you all enjoyed the update. It's been a while but I'm going to try to keep updating you. So much exciting shit. And here's a bonus, the open for the Carolyn Warmus Story, featuring my voice!
And, lest I forget, since she's coming over to rehearse soon, Lacy James and I have a gig at Sidewalk Cafe on October 26th at 7:30pm. All donations to the tip jar are going toward hurricane relief efforts in Puerto Rico, so come out and be generous! Would love to see you there.
Remember that part where I said I was busy? Since I last wrote anything at all on here right before Guadeloupe, I went to Guadeloupe, proposed to my girlfriend Amy, traveled out west to Utah and met my long lost cousin on my mother's side, got married to Amy in October of that year, landed a voice over agent, scored another film, went to Nicaragua again, voiced the open for a documentary on CNN, started performing with Lacy James again and have almost finished a novel I've been writing.
A lot, I know. It's been over a year though so it probably sounds more impressive than it is. Nah, never mind, I think it sounds pretty awesome. First of all, Guadeloupe was fun and amazing and gorgeous and deserves it's own entry. Here are some pics.
However, like many things that you build up in your mind, it sort of left a bit to be desired. Finding gluten free (for me) and vegan food (for my wife) that was interesting and worth going out of the way for proved to be damn near impossible some days. The people were nice but, since it's a French overseas department, we spent most of the week keeping to ourselves, driving around to see various sights on the island, going to rum distilleries and hiking. We did manage to meet some fellow Brooklynites on the volcano hike which just blew my mind. We've even stayed friends with them and hung out a few times in the city.
The craziest moment of the weekend, though, came when I got super sick from eating the local food and threw up all over our Airbnb. Craziest because it managed to stop me overthinking how I should ask Amy to marry me and just do it. She took care of me immediately after without batting an eye and it dawned on me how lucky I was to have her. Not because she simply cleaned up after me but because of all of the other times I've seen how caring she can be and how I've lacked that in other relationships. I called her into the bedroom and as we gazed out the window at the sun setting over the Caribbean Sea, I asked her and she said yes.
We took it easy the rest of the night and spent the next day, just browsing through Etsy for engagement rings. Later that year, we got married at the marriage bureau in downtown Manhattan with two of our friends as witnesses.
That summer, I finally got to meet my cousin from my mom's side, with whom I'd recently connected on Facebook. He lives out in SLC, Utah and is always having outdoor adventures with his pals out there. Having just bought himself a river raft, the plan was to take it down to a stretch of the Colorado River in Castle Valley, near Moab, Utah and float for a day and a half, camping overnight on the river.
It was incredibly fun. So much fun, in fact, that I went back to visit him again this summer the weekend of the total solar eclipse. We didn't get close enough to see full totality but it was still a good trip in itself. Here are those pics.
Both trips deserve their own entries and there's far too much to include here. Same with the Nicaragua trip. My good friend Angela led a retreat there at the same lodge I keep going back to (on my recommendation, of course), so, naturally, I had to go again. The crew that went was immeasurably fun and we had an incredible time. We even went back to the Masaya volcano, where I went in 2015, and managed to catch a glimpse of the lava cauldron churning at the bottom of the crater, which had been blocked by too much steam last time I went. Here are those pics.
Best part? I'm still hanging out with these guys back in NYC.
So, you've probably noticed that I've caught the travel bug. The new job at CNN (relatively new...going on three years now!) has allowed me to take more time off for these adventures and that's sort of inspired me to do more and perhaps make something out of it. After Guadeloupe, I compiled all the footage we'd shot with the GoPro camera I found on the ground outside the Barclays Center and edited together a kind of glorified vacation video, complete with my voice-over and music selections. I can't post it obviously because I don't own any of the music. It was more of a proof of concept. I wanted to see if I could shoot video on a vacation, then bring it back and edit it together to tell a compelling story.
I eventually do want to produce videos. In fact, what's on the horizon for me is I'm putting together a YouTube channel for Celiacs that are newly diagnosed. I've already got most of the first episodes scripted. Once I cover all of the important topics regarding adjusting to the gluten free lifestyle, I plan on moving on to other kinds of content. Likely, this will include interviewing health professionals such as nutritionists and doctors on topics ranging from new research to debunking myths about the disease to legislation about food labeling. Ultimately, getting back to the notion of travel, I'd like to interview my viewers from other countries about how they handle being gluten free where they live, with an emphasis on questions like, "are there gluten free versions of traditional things you used to eat?" and "how aware are people in restaurants about your diet?" The idea being that people with my dietary restrictions don't travel or have difficulty traveling because of it. I hope to change that and allow people the means by which to get over any fears they might have about traveling abroad with regard to their diets.
Obviously, this is going to be a great outlet for my music composing and voice-over work as well. Which leads me to the next thing. Back in mid January, I got a phone call from my voice coach's assistant telling me I'd probably be getting a call from an agent. Floored, I waited, but what came was not a phone call but several emailed auditions, a few of them in person at various production houses throughout the city. Excited but panicking that my full time job wouldn't allow me to make all of them, I talked to my boss, who is always supportive of these kinds of ventures. Ultimately, I worked it out with my agent that I would get mostly mp3 auditions (the kind where you record at home and send them in) and worked it out with my boss that whenever I had an in person audition, I'd just have to let him know. In the months that followed, I went to something like five to seven auditions a week, maybe got one second round audition, but have been keeping at it, determined to book something soon. I've been having a blast and learning a lot more about the industry and still seeing my coach every once in awhile. I even took an improv class the other day to get out of my skin a little more and tried to get even better at auditioning. Last month, I officially signed my contract and am now represented for the next year. So, wish me luck there.
Film scoring? That thing I moved here for? Yes, I still do that. Here's a trailer for the film that just had its first screening a few weeks ago.
https://vimeo.com/215764480
I hope you all enjoyed the update. It's been a while but I'm going to try to keep updating you. So much exciting shit. And here's a bonus, the open for the Carolyn Warmus Story, featuring my voice!
And, lest I forget, since she's coming over to rehearse soon, Lacy James and I have a gig at Sidewalk Cafe on October 26th at 7:30pm. All donations to the tip jar are going toward hurricane relief efforts in Puerto Rico, so come out and be generous! Would love to see you there.
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