Reflection delayed...

Barreling towards the end of the year and finally finding time to reflect.  It's been a fun trip to NC this time around and I have one last night before I pack up and head back.  And once I'm back, it's not too long before I'm gonna be heading to Nicaragua.  14 days.  So, naturally I'm far to excited and nervous about that to really think too much about things like freelance work.  And even though my plan was to sit down and take a look at the upcoming year's goals during my stay here, I didn't really accomplish any of that.

So naturally I have a lot of things on my mind with regard to that.  I spoke once before about not stressing too much about trying to find work but rather just being ready when the next opportunity comes along.  Now, I kinda think that I should really be finding a balance between these two extremes.  I can look for work and spend time between jobs making sure I'm ready when an opportunity presents itself.  Sitting around and waiting doesn't sound like a good strategy no matter what you're doing.  I would rather be proactive and identify things that I can be doing to help myself out between jobs.  Working on tracks that I can license, writing music for the guitar looping project, trying to find a space and time to rehearse/jam with the drummer (this has not happened yet this year)...also, working on revamping the voice over demos and the marketing plan.  So there's a lot to do there.  A lot to keep me busy.

But I'd really like to talk about goals.  And not just goals for the sake of goals but targeted goals that take into account how over ambitious I was last year with some goals and how on point I was with others.  Which goals did I accomplish and which goals did I fall short of accomplishing?  Which ones did I neglect entirely?

There's a real pressure not to just do what I did last year, even if some of my moves were successful.  So I find myself sitting here reading old blogs and reflecting, as I do.  Another thing that has crossed my mind is that in order to focus on some things, I may have to leave a few things by the wayside.  I can't even wrap my brain around all that right now.  So, I think my first focus in the new year is going to be contacting producers, both voice over and film, to touch base and maybe scare up some work.  That's the big thing that I still don't have a lot of under my belt.  Work.  I mean, my website looks good, if I do say so myself, but I feel like it can never hurt to have more current material on showcase.   I could have had two feature film projects last year but both of them slipped through my fingers.  Not that I'm remorseful for that.  It was a great experience and it taught me that getting heard of is only part of getting the job.  You gotta be on your game and stand out from the crowd.   Which is a tad frustrating because it feels like it's out of your hands to some extent.  You can only do so much.  I mean, really, let's look at this: you can put together a stellar reel but you have to sort of pay attention to what other composers are doing and find ways to stand out from them with your work.  And you can have your hands in a lot of things, to get the attention of a lot of different kinds of producers for a lot of different kinds of projects, but then can you really be stellar at any one thing if you're spreading yourself so thin?  But then do you have to really choose just one area, be it electronic music, orchestral music, or pop?

All this floods my mind when I start to think about this.  And then I start to think about the licensing agency and how they haven't heard anything new from me in months.  The good thing is, there was one last piece of music that I never sent to them because I never finished it.  I liked so many aspects of it but it was missing something and I never really put my finger on it.  I revisited it a few days back and I think I have some ideas.  I may want to try some things I was afraid to before and get some restructuring underway.  I have ideas occurring to me out of the blue that I'm not sure why I didn't have before.  It's a good feeling, at the very least, to have a project I can get started on now without waiting for some job to come along.

Anyway, voice over is a whole different beast these days.  I haven't had a job since the summer.  By comparison this year has been a lot more meager.  But I did get my first out of the blue calls for work this year along with the attention of an agent...never mind the fact that she told me I sounded too regional on one of my spots and to watch for that.  I'm not too bummed about either because for one thing, that agent was way too hard to get a hold of for someone I'd like to be working with to find voice over work.  And for another thing, my lack of work in this arena can probably be directly attributed to me filling up my schedule with freelance TV work.  CNN and TruTV were great boons to my financial well being this year and are solely responsible for almost doubling my salary for the greater part of the year and finally, this trip to Nicaragua.

I think it's important, in the midst of all this stuff to remember that I worked hard this year and now I'm going to go and reward myself.  I need this.  Too much work and no play, make Tim something something...

So, I think instead of stressing over all of the above, I'm going to focus on the Nicaragua trip and then get started on all of it when I get back.  I think I'll leave New Year's Resolutions and game plans for the New Year untouched for a few weeks until I come back from Nicaragua with a tan and hopefully no tropical diseases.  At that point, I'll touch base...I may even send pics from the beach.  So stay tuned...

Sometimes it's okay to just chill...

First big snow of the year and I'm hanging in tonight.  I had to work this morning at TruTV and was planning on getting a little Christmas shopping done at the holiday markets until this happened: 

 

So then, I was compelled to go straight to DSW and spend what I would have spent on shoes for the Nicaragua trip on a new pair of boots.  This is not the first time this week I've had a wardrobe malfunction either.  I was sitting on the edge of my bed putting socks on before I left for work and one over zealous lift of my leg caused me to rip the jeans I was wearing in an unfortunate place.  And of course, this led to me changing said pants but forgetting to retrieve my apartment keys from my front pocket.  Hence leaving the apartment without my keys for the first time in a long time.

There are times when rushing around does me good and I'm able to cram a lot into one day (just the other day I managed to wake up early enough to squeeze in a voice over audition and still get to work on time and didn't have to eat out for dinner that day because I had prepared way in advance...never mind that I'm pretty sure this was the same day I forgot my keys) but there are other times when I just feel like life is catching up with me and I just need to chill for a bit to regroup.

Like today.  I just bought those shoes and came home because I figured I deserved a break...and some gluten free beer and home cooking.  Although, I did swing through the market at Columbus Circle for a look.  I only stayed long enough to get a pile of snow dropped on my head from the roof of one of the stalls just for standing in one spot for too long.  That and the slushy slippery snow accumulating on the walk between stalls convinced me it was time to just give up, go buy new boots and go home.

And sometimes it takes a while to quell the noise in my head telling me that, just because I have some downtime that I should be making the most of it by advancing one or more of the projects I have on the docket but then, I realize that I'm home and I'm tired and I've been working like a dog.  I haven't had a day off since Thanksgiving weekend and I won't have one off until Christmas.  I have even been squeezing in more voice over auditions to prove to myself that there's no reason to slack off there and that even a little bit of progress is worthwhile.  So maybe, I should just take a break.  Right?

I've even talked about this before on some level, I'm sure.  How it's important to put downtime on your to do list.  So, here I am, enjoying my downtime. And what do I do?  I pick up my guitar, put on some Smashing Pumpkins to reminisce and then text a friend to see what he's up to.